Two tactics I used a few times this week that I think are worth a try, though they’re not failproof.
Having young kids practice the boundaries of a space
Show the boundaries. “You can walk on the brick, but stop at the edge. Show me the edge of where you can go!” As they get close to the edge: “Show me where you stop!” They enjoy showing off they know where the edge is, and often enjoy getting as close as possible to the line. I’d try this starting around age 2.
Teaching street safety is hard with impulsive toddlers, and too high-stakes to allow for a lot of mistakes. I think the right amount of free rein depends on how many mistakes they’ve made before, and how busy the road is. In this case my four-year-old can reliably stay out of the street, but this stretch of sidewalk has some busy driveways that I want her to treat differently from how we normally treat driveways.
Related:
- Investing in boundaries (this method for a low-stakes setting with no cars)
- Jeff’s method of street training
Sympathetic repeating
When my preschooler is getting overwhelmed / complain-y, sometimes repeating their complaint is helpful.
Her: “My sandwich is not right!! The bread is crumbled!!”
Me agreeing, sympathetically: “The bread is crumbled. You didn’t want it to be crumbled like that.”
(or sometimes “Hmmm” and nodding in agreement.)
I felt like saying “It still tastes fine,” but she’d likely have doubled down and insisted more strongly that the sandwich was unacceptable.
At this point she hadn’t actually asked for anything, and sometimes after a little while she decides the situation isn’t so bad.
Today she did say “I want a different sandwich.”
Me, in a tone of explaining an unfortunate state of affairs rather than indicating that she’s being unreasonable: “Well, this is your sandwich. I’m not planning to make another one.”
She angrily shoved the sandwich away, which I ignored. Twenty seconds later, she reached for it, yelled “Fine!” and began to eat it.
This doesn’t always work! But I think it’s often a good place to start.