Who benefits from the au pair program?

We’ve hosted au pairs for the last 4.5 years, and I have mixed feelings about it. But I want to lay out some things that I think are misunderstood about the program.

On scruffy spaces

Now that I’ve actually tried it, I see more of the backstory behind these photos. Know who assembled, maintained, and photographed these rooms? Adults.

Parenting philosophy

I try to focus on what makes life better in the short and medium term rather than trying to mold my children’s personalities or futures. Most of that is already done by genetics.

Preventing child sexual abuse

I think it’s important to know the actual risks, because in the past programs have been aimed at preventing risks that weren’t particularly likely.

Reducing schizophrenia risk

My plan was to reassure myself that my kids were unlikely to get schizophrenia, but it turns out reading a lot about schizophrenia was not a good way to put myself at ease.

Tradeoffs in child health

It’s one thing to intend to avoid neurotoxins, but another to arrive at the grandparents’ house and find they’ve just had ant poison sprayed. What do you do then?