Jeff has a method of helping our kids climb stuff that I think has worked well. It gives them practice trying things that are at the edge of their ability, without a lot of risk of serious falls. [Edited a bit since I think what I actually do is less strict than I initially wrote.]
The basics:
- Spot the child if they’re doing something where a fall is likely.
- Don’t encourage or help the child to climb something that’s beyond their ability to do on their own.
- If they don’t know how to get down, give advice rather than physically lifting them down.
- Don’t allow climbing on some places that are too dangerous.
Times when we use this:
- A baby learning to crawl up and down stairs
- A toddler learning to walk up and down stairs holding a bannister
- A toddler learning to climb on and off of chairs
- Kids learning to climb on play structures at the park
- Climbing trees, rocks, etc
Caveat that our kids aren’t daredevils by nature, and some kids need a different setup if their desire to climb outpaces their judgment.
Neither of us have training in rock climbing, parkour, or other types of climbing — I’m curious what methods parents familiar with those applying to helping young children learn to climb.
1. Spotting (being ready to catch them or break their fall)
This lets them climb unimpeded —we’re not holding them up and maybe not touching them at all — but we’re ready to catch them or break their fall.
This should be done with hands free and attention fully on the child. Undivided attention is obviously hard to offer when you have multiple small children.
Sometimes it’s just not possible. When our kids were learning to climb stairs, we kept the stairs gated off except when we were able to be behind them spotting.
2. Don’t encourage or help the child to climb something that’s beyond their ability
Older siblings are sometimes a problem here, coaxing our toddler to climb things that are beyond what she can safely do.
3. “If you got up, you can get down”
We do very little rescuing kids who climb up something and then say they are stuck. We’ll usually say “I’ll give you advice.” Advice we often give:
- Turn around and go down backwards / get on your belly and then go down. This is the main climbing advice for toddlers.
- Advice about reaching their feet to places they can’t see, e.g. “If you reach this foot down a little more, you can reach it to the next rung.” “You’re close enough to the ground you can let go and just fall a little way.”
We’ll sometimes physically remove a child who’s refusing to go down safely, e.g. keeps trying to go down headfirst instead of feet first.
4. Some places we don’t allow climbing
- A rock wall at a nearby park where each bit doable, but cumulatively it places a child with a 20-foot fall over jagged rocks.
- Furniture that’s not ours, isn’t strong enough to support climbing, or isn’t secured to the wall.
- When they need spotting and we’re not able to spot them.
- When another kid is already climbing the same object, and one is likely to knock the other one down.
Good advice.
Bullet point 0: do not lift them up things they can’t climb on their own. They will learn not to expect help and be self-sufficient.
Also, some playgrounds are purpose-built so that smaller kids can’t access gear that’s not safe for them. Climbing up that ladder on their own is the entry fee to be safe on that slide.
This tracks what I do with my boys, except I modify #3 a little. Sometimes I physically guide them through the needed motions. For example, I’ve recently shown my 11 month old how to get off a bed safely by moving his arms and legs to mimic what he needs to do on his own. For a toddler climbing down a play structure, I might physically guide a leg to a good spot. And if they start panicking or crying, I will lift them off. While we have some variation, our kids are definitely not on the cautious end of the spectrum. I don’t have too much rock climbing experience, but I think I’m going to start doing bouldering at a gym with the older two soon (ages 7 and 5).
Now that you describe it, Allison, I do think we do some guiding. Especially with babies who don’t understand verbal directions well.
My mom’s told me (now 28) that her climbing policy for me was 2. I’m not sure she spotted me regularly (but I probably wouldn’t remember), and I don’t remember her telling me not to climb things (but again I might not). I also don’t recall her giving me much advice on down climbing, but she agreed with you on not lifting me down.
Basically, similar policy to yours but with slightly more risk (and independence). It worked well enough for us, though I remember a couple of scary moments when I wasn’t sure how I’d make it down something. I didn’t break any bones or have any other serious injuries as a child.
IIRC, she got this advice from my first day-care person.